do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Need sex. Gaining weight.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize