You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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