For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
