my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
