Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize
