if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Randomize
