It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
It's blow job season.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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