So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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