im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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