Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
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