i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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