i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
