I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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