Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
tell your sister to shave her snatch
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize
