I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
