You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
