Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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