and she was petting her beer can
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize