DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
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