for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
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