Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
