her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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