There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
