i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
