Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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