"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
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I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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