Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Randomize
