Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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