Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
what day is it and did you see me today?
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
