Girls should come with a carfax report
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
