Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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