We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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