I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Randomize
