is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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