She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
you guys were way drunker than both of me
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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