their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
