He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
