I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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