Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
