i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
