Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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