Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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