My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I love you. Go after that dick
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
