Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
