oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
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