So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
