I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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