I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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