Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Randomize
