Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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