nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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