dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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