You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
