i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
