Screwed.edu
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
