9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
