I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
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