Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
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