I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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